So, I've been going to counseling, and I must say that it has been very healing, but also very triggering. We're talking a lot about my childhood, and as we all know (or at least should know by now) is that everything that is "wrong" with us is because of our childhood. Our childhood and upbringings dictates our initial social interactions with others and our perspectives in society. And please note my use of the word initial, as we all have the capacity to evolve through time and experiences. 

Originally written:  09/18/2023

I believe that strengths and weaknesses are one the same. I say it every time in an interview. Every time I say it, the interviewer always looks so puzzled, like how does that even make sense? 

My kindness is not a weakness. 

My name is JB, and I am an overthinker. Plainly speaking, I worry too much. There are advantages to an overthinking mind like mine. I am a critical thinker. I come up with so many alternatives in my mind about my decisions and they respective consequences. My overactive thoughts help me to reveal my truest desires and connections, and this draws out my ambitious and passionate qualities. It allows me to understand creative connections before others. I have a keen attention to detail. I am able to strategize well so that I move as most efficiently and effectively as possible, and this has been a great benefit for me in the workplace and my professional career. My overthinking causes me to have a great amount of empathy and compassion when it comes to others around me. My overthinking gives me the power to see the future and learn from the past, therefore helping me to make a decision in the now.  I am highly prepared. I am actually often over-prepared. But hey, I would rather be over-prepared than underprepared with anything, so I would consider that a positive trait....

Sundays are restorative days for me. It's the only true day that I am able to sleep in and restore myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Any other day, I'm always highly active and on the go. And I don't mean that just physically. I also mean that mentally. And it's the mental that wears us down more than anything. At least, it's that way for me. We have a million and one tasks, errands, and activities that we have to get through during our weekdays, and it's almost like our brains puts us on autopilot in order to help us get through our weekdays.  And even though we are on autopilot, we still have a number of impending new thoughts and feelings that surface.

Who am I?

I came across a reel one day on Facebook that discussed the topic of biophilia. The gentleman said: "Biophilia is the idea that all human beings subconsciously seek connection with the rest of life, that there is an innate human connection to nature, perhaps even an evolutionary adaptation designed to foster a harmonious relationship between humans and the biosphere." And after watching this reel, I discovered something new about myself, that I am a biophilic.

I originally wrote this poem on August 23, 2023, it was during one of those times of my lows. The overall emotion that I can remember about that time was frustration. I was frustrated with everything that was happening at that time. I was frustrated with my job, because I had felt like I had to pretend to love a job because of the "opportunity"; but I hated it. I was frustrated with my dating life. It was just too many instances of dealing with people who actually pretend themselves, but about intentions. I was frustrated with my personal life. My son wasn't happy. So I wasn't happy. Enough said. I wasn't happy with a friendship. I had realized that I was outgrowing a friendship, because of pretending and false intentions as well. So yes, the more I reflect, the overall feeling was frustration. 

Meet July.

So, I just finished reading, The Black Girl's Guide to Financial Freedom, by Paris Woods, and let me say, this is a must read. Although it's target audience is Black women, there are a lot of helpful insights and advice that anyone can learn from. The book is roughly 180 pages, so its a reasonable short read. However, it packs a lot of information that can be useful to those who are entering their financial independent journey, or to those who are ready to make a change to their financial approach to life. 

So, I am currently reading this book called, The Black Girl's Guide to Financial Freedom, by Paris Woods (don't worry, the book review is to come very soon), and her chapter Dream, start's off the introduction by asking her readers a very important question: What would you didn't have to work for money? Now, I'm sure that we have all been asked this at least once in our life, and I'm sure that we all have an instinctual answer to what the response would be.